Maybe you are only enough for yourself when your life is at its most simplest form. Maybe once your life becomes complex you must have another to share it with. Although they are sharing their complex life with you, the load doesn't seem quite as heavy because there are two of you. However, doesn't your life automatically become more complex when there are two people?
It is obvious that life cannot be lived alone. We are dependent creatures. We search for a bond with almost every human we meet and interact with. We look for common ground, a starting point, a reference. Is this because we want our life to more complex? I don't think so. I think it is because we are mostly dependent people. Although some would disagree and state that they don't need anyone to complete them. I would argue that they have their families and if they don't have a close family then they most likely have friends (in the simplest form).
How does one get to this point? How do we manifest into individuals who rely and balance our lives based on others? I think it happens without us even noticing. We become intertwined and weaved throughout the other's life and in the blink of an eye we are basically one. This is the case with most relationships and I guess you could argue that generally one person weaves into the other versus two becoming one. It is like that stupid quote or saying that I read somewhere, "Whoever loves less, controls the relationship." I would stand on a mountain top and preach this as true. I would swear my life against this.
The person who weaves and molds into the other usually somewhere loses themselves. I am not saying this is a bad thing or something that should be easily pinpointed. Actually, I don't think it is noticed at all until everything falls apart. It is obvious that a relationship ends because a participant in the "loving" relationship wanted it to. So, there you are intertwined, changing your colors to match theirs, living your life based on theirs or believing in everything they say and they up and end it. The rug is pulled out from under you and all of a sudden you realize you were dependent. You realize you became a part of that person and you filled your life with them.
So now what?
I guess you just have to try and keep living and eventually you will find something else to depend on. I think that just about everyone becomes dependent. There aren't people out there who will never depend on something or who will always rely on others. I believe that every human is susceptible to relying on someone else and like I said it happens without a blink of an eye or a change of a season. This is when love is at its most potent form and the dependent person is most likely to be broken.
So, I guess while we do not wish for our lives to be more complex, as humans we seek for and ask for someone to lean on. We want someone to share the burden. We want something to fill our souls. We yearn for a reason to wake up and make it through the day. It is just whether or not we can pick ourselves when that strong reliant pillar becomes a pile of dust that makes us a stronger person. While we wish our lives simple, I believe our subconscious strives for a more complex life to fulfill our needs and desires.
I urge you to seek these dependencies before they break you. I wish for you to locate the thing that fills you up and to test yourself without it. Maybe this will make you stronger for that moment when it all falls apart, because like I said before, NOTHING lasts forever. Nothing.
"Like the body that is made up of different limbs and organs,
all moral creatures must depend on each other to exist."
- Proverb
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