Comfortable Love?

If you want to know what love does to your brain, then you should read my friends blog post, This Is Your Brain on Love. This post talks about the different chemicals that cause us to love and attach and feel all those crazy feelings we get when we first fall in love. However, she brought up an article written by Time a couple of years ago. The Science of Romance: Why We Love, talks about love in a very primal way. It relates the things we do, how we find a mate, how we "test" to see if they are the right one and how our brain reacts, but it wasn't any of this that sparked my thoughts. Instead, I was most intrigued by the idea of Companionate Bonding. 


I have been thinking a lot about, what I call "comfortable love." I have been wondering if that flirty fun new love phase actually lasts forever. I don't think it does. The infamous "Seven Year Itch" has now become the "Five Year Itch." The likely hood of couples splitting within five to ten years is now becoming the norm. In my opinion, since this is my blog, I think that this is true. I believe that after a couple of years things become "comfortable" in a relationship which is often translated to "boring" or "changing." Maybe it is just because I am a girl but I want a "comfortable" love. Not that I want a boring relationship. I want a relationship that I can count on. I want to know that the other person will always be there and you know everything. In my definition that translates to a comfortable love and relationship. 


I understand that everyone has ideals and dreams that the new love feeling will last forever, but according to the Time article every couple that will lasts, "needs a love that bonds them to each other but without the passion." Some scientific tests have proven that in very few relationships the new love feeling does last, but the harsher truth is that it usually does not. Instead you translate into a stabler state and thus leads that article to say, "If love can be mundane, that's because sometimes it's meant to be."


I understand that not every twenty year old looking for love is going to agree with this, but as a person who was in a five year relationship I can agree with this. I can agree that things become comfortable and that is the way I, as a girl, liked it. Yes, I yearn for a fun love, but if I had my choice I would always choose reliable, stable and comfortable love. I guess maybe that is also my old soul bearing its true self, but I would like to believe that anyone who has felt love would pick the same.


So, the point of this post? I guess I am just trying to persuade that love can be comfortable and not boring. That every time something seems like its changing maybe thats because it is switching from a fun love to a stable love. Anyways, the harsh truth is that love changes and grows into something that may no be what we expect it to be, but it is the norm. I am not saying you should settle because obviously you want "new love" when it is new and "comfortable love" when it has been several years.

"Love is just love, it can never be explained"